hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
