ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I want a musical about memes.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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