can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
