Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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