why didn't you poke me back
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
