On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You were trust falling into bushes
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
