hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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