Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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