He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
