I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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