Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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