I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
