when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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