I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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