I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book