If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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