how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
