I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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