I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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