i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
