Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
