I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
