I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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