I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize