4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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