so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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