Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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