I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
This house was built for laser tag.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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