Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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