Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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