Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
