He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
