No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
