Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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