you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
