I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
