he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
