I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He's a Shit stain on my heart
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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