I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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