Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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