Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
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We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
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I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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