Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
