is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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