Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
