Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
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so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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