Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
