I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
