you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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