but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
