ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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