So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize