Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
