We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
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