I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
