if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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