I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize