i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
