I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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