When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
"it" just moved
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
