Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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